the self had use
for the self

Mesandel Virtusio Arguelles    KristineOngMuslim

A poem by  Mesándel Virtusio Arguelles translated from Filipino by Kristine Ong Muslim. 

Sumpa

by Mesándel Virtusio Arguelles

Dahil sa natuklasang hindi sa iyo

ang daigdig, gumuho

 

ang iyong daigdig. Ang iyong daigdig

 

na dahil hindi sa iyo

gumuho hindi dahil sa iyo

 

Hanggang tumindig ka sa ngayon

sa daigdig na sa wala nakatindig

 

 

 

Nais mong magpatuloy

pagkaraan ng lahat, pagkaraang lahat

 

ilahad. Ngayon

 

mahinahon ang mga tinig, wala na

ang nagsasalitang salitang minsan

 

mayroong sariling silbi. Mayroong silbi

 

ang sarili, nais mong masabi, sa sarili

sa huli, bilang pagtanda sa inaakalang buhay

 

 

 

Isusulat mo

ang sarili. Isusulat mo

 

sa bawat salitang pipiliin

 

upang maiharap ang sarili

sa bawat salitang tatalikuran

 

upang muli lamang mabigo

sa bawat pagtalikod

 

 

 

Sa araw na kailangan mo

nang magpaalam, hindi mo maiiwan

 

ang iyong silid. Sa huling sandali

 

ipapasya mong isilid ito sa iyong bulsa

Naroon ang iyong kama, mesita, ilaw

 

sa pagbabasa. Maglalakbay ka

 

mula roon nang hindi iniiwan

ang iyong silid. Sa muli’t muling pagpasok

 

dito, kailangan mong laging magpaalam

 

Bawat araw, hindi mo maiiwan

ang iyong silid. Sa iyong bulsa

 

bawat huling sandali, ito ang iyong isinisilid

 

 

 

Sa sandaling ito, muli mong isusumpang mabuhay

para sa sining

 

Curse

by Mesándel Virtusio Arguelles

Because you discovered that

the world was not yours, your world

 

crashed. Your world

 

that just because was not yours

crashed but not because of you

 

Until you stand up now

to a world that stands on nothing

 

 

 

You want to continue

after everything had come to pass, after everything

 

was made known. Now

 

the voices are calm, no longer

one utters a word that once

 

had its use. The self had use

 

for the self, you wished to say

in the end to commemorate what passes for life

 

 

 

You will write

yourself. You will write

 

on every word you will choose

 

in order to submit yourself

to every word you will renounce

 

in order to once again fail

in every renunciation

 

 

 

On the day you need

to say goodbye, you cannot walk away from

 

your room. At the last moment

 

you will decide to slip it inside your pocket

There’s your bed, small table, lamp

 

for reading. You will travel

 

from thereon without leaving

your room. In your frequent reentry

 

into it, you need to always ask for permission

 

Each day, you cannot walk away from

your room. Inside your pocket

 

every last moment, you slip it in

 

 

 

At this moment, you curse once again having lived

for art

translated from Filipino by Kristine Ong Muslim
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