外祖父

by Liu Xia

落滿灰塵的向家祠堂

一片恍惚的陰影

徘徊不去

是你嗎?我面容模糊的外祖父

多少年了,我透過近視的雙眼

尋找你的手

觸摸我不曾走動過的歲月

在夢中回到你的家園

 

我知道你存在

舊照片上你發黃的青春

與這南方持久的碧綠

相距實在太遠

 

獨自一人時

我常常看到

你牽著我的手

我們一起走在一本又一本書中

心中充滿悲涼

沒有人告訴過我

關於你的任何一個微小的細節

似乎你生活在冰川期以前

而我又無力成為考古學家

 

我只能用心

把你交還給這些

單薄的詞語

你在陳舊的老宅裡

是否感到了一縷

新鮮的空氣

外祖父

 

2/1997

Grandfather

by Liu Xia

In the dusty ancestral hall,

a lingering shadow

doesn’t want to leave.

Is that blurred face you, grandfather?

For years, through my myopic

eyes, I’ve tried to seek your hands, to touch

the years I had never passed through.

In dreams, only, I arrive at your house.

 

I know you exist.

Your yellowed youth in old photos

looks alien in this

southern green.

 

When I’m alone, I often see you

holding my hand. Together

we walk through book

after book,

which fills me with chilling grief.

Nobody shares the details

of your life, as if you lived

before the ice age. It’s impossible

for me to become an archaeologist.

 

I can only put my whole self

into giving you back

to these thin, frail words.

In your old house, do you feel

a flash

of fresh air,

grandfather?

 

2/1997

translated from Chinese by Ming Di & Jennifer Stern
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